Sleep. One of the many hot topics as PK and I delve into this world of parenting. Do we put the baby on a schedule? No schedule? Feed him to sleep? Let him cry? All's I know is our kid needs sleep and he's not getting any. Call it the four month sleep regression then mix it with a little teething, and it's a recipe for some sleepless nights and days where naps last about 15 minutes. (Sometimes I say 20 minutes to make myself feel better. Haha!) There are SO many opinions about this. And theories. And I've just been praying and asking God to help me know what is best for Eddy. To help me know my boy better and to give me wisdom in how to go about this thing. I'm clueless and all the things out there make me not want to read anything because it's so overwhelming! Waaaaah!
All to say, we've had a rough go at it, but it's getting better. We indeed started Eddy on a more structured schedule, our sweet new neighbor let me borrow a Rock-n-Play which is a Godsend, and I stopped feeding him to sleep in the day. And as I type this, he's been asleep for 41 minutes which is a world record as of late. All I can say is...
As I've been shushing and soothing and rocking and singing while Eddy fights sleep with all his might, I get the picture in my mind of God doing the same with me. Not with sleep, but with my heart. And my will. And my mind that thinks I know better than He does. And when I fight it, oh the sweet things I miss out on. What He wants for me is to come to Him, to rest in Him, for my soul to be rejuvenated, for my mind to be restored. To believe His truth and live it out, not from my own strength but from His. What a sweet picture it is of God relentlessly loving me and holding my heart and not letting go. As He fights for me, He knows what is best. He calls me to climb up in His lap and just be.
I am oddly thankful for the sleepless nights and tough days and for Eddy teaching me lessons at the ripe ol' age of four months old. Do I want them to continue? Meeeh, no. But they do remind me to trust. To let go. To know Him and be known by Him. And rest.