Monday, June 24, 2013

Monday Coffee Date

Some of the lovely bloggers I follow write posts every once in a while called coffee date
The concept of it is simple and cute. If we were on a coffee date, just you and me, these are the things on my mind and my heart I would share with you. So, I thought I'd give it a whirl and invite you over for a little "coffee date" of our own.

Going for coffee usually requires some planning in advance for me. At times my schedule is crazy and at other times it's not. And I'm still trying to figure all that out. Scheduling my days, time with Jesus, time with friends, time to myself, time for work, time with my husband. Today, it worked out perfectly for me to have you over for a bit.

When you arrive I would have written you a welcome note on our chalkboard in our entry way letting you know how much you are loved and how glad I am for you to be here. I would have you pick out a mug and probably point out to you the mug I still don't believe my husband actually made when he was  at Miami Ohio. He has chicken scratches for handwriting and the handwriting on this mug is incredibly neat. I would allow you to call me a skeptic with no offense taken.

{The Mug}
{C'mon! Look at that thing!}

On our coffee date we would either sit at our kitchen counter or across from each other on the couch. I would ask how you are doing...the good, the bad, and the ugly probably right off the bat. I want to know your heart and I want you to know mine. 

As we are sipping our cups of joe I would share with you how excited I am for our vacation to New York City soon. I love that city and how big it is and the people and the culture and how you could live there all your life exploring it and falling more in love with it. I think I love that city too because for PK and me, it's ours. It's something we've fallen in love with together. We've gotten to know it together, as we get to know each other as our love deepens.

I would then let you into how much I still think of our baby Elston. About how much I still cry even though I am still able to go about my day seemingly normal. I so badly want to meet him, to experience him growing in my stomach, to be pregnant with my pregnant friends. I would tell you also how I am impressed with how incredibly well my body has worked through this whole miscarriage. My body was able to house a thriving, living baby. It was able to pass our sweet baby naturally and now if we want, we are able to try for another. It's back to normal. Like, total normal. In a matter of three months. It blows my mind. You know, the things I think about my body on the outside are less than encouraging, but this thing, this temple the Lord has given me to live in, is pretty beautiful. All it's intricacies and how it has worked flawlessly through this whole 
season is something to praise God for. 

At this point in our conversation, I would ask if you want a refill and probably continue to process about Elston. I would tell you I am scared to try for another baby. A little piece of me is waiting to not be so sad about our loss, but more of me knows the sadness won't go away for a really long time. I would ask you that if you think of me during your week, to pray for this. Pray that I can continue to grieve in a healthy way and pray that I trust the Lord with everything that comes with getting pregnant again. I don't want to rush anything but I also know time's-a-tickin', so prayers for reliance on God's perfect timing and a heart to step out in faith. With a faith-filled heart and not a fear-filled heart. 

As we continued our conversation, I would probably thank you for letting me process all of that and thank you for letting me be me and just cry it out. Speaking of crying it out, I would then let you know about how marathon training is going and about how for the last couple of training runs, right in the middle of the runs, I start to bawl. {I'll write on this in a later blog post. It's been quite emotional.}

Just to rewind for a sec, yes, we are running the Chicago Marathon, and yes, I know we are insane. We ran it two years ago, and forgive me for giving you TMI, but during those 26.2 miles, about every three miles I had to find a bathroom because my body decided on that day to have an extreme case of the squirts. For 5 hours. Not kidding. Not my prettiest moment either, and for some odd reason, I'm running this marathon again. It's addicting and I'd love to just have to stop to pee once. That's my goal. That, my friend, would be my personal best.

Before we would conclude our coffee date, I would ask you more about how I can pray for you this week, and even if prayer is not your thing, I will still pray for you whether you like it or not. It comes with the friendship. Package deal. I would then tell you thank you again for listening to my heart. I would hope you felt heard as well and loved and cherished. 
Because that's what you are. 

Let's get another date on the calendar soon. 
Looking forward to it! 


  1. That mug is impeccable. Daniel just visited NYC for the first time. (I've never been.) Love the idea of falling in love with something together. And your description of the temples God's given us to live in is beautiful. Praying for you, friend. And good luck with the marathon!

    1. Trina, isn't that handwriting too good to be true?! haha! I like giving PK a hard time about it.
      I'll post some pics after NYC to make you feel like you were there with us! ;)

      thanks for the prayers and luck for the marathon! No going back now!

  2. Awww, so fun! I'd love to have coffee with you sometime and catch up and chat. :) The mug is super rad! And keep processing, girl, your body and your (our) God truly are amazing. And I know exactly what you mean about both wanting yet being scared of getting pregnant again. :/ Praying for you guys! Wanted to share a poem I wrote a couple years ago.

    1. Adrienne, that poem is perfect. So comforting to know I am not the only one who has feared these fears. I'm not alone in this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this, and for praying and for sharing your heart on your blog. (I just signed up to follow you!) xoxo