Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Sweet October

October. Especially this October. It's different from the rest. 
It is the first time in my life that I've truly delighted in the cool weather. 
I love keeping the windows open at night so when we wake up, the air in the house is crisp allowing me to bundle up in cable knit everything. I pre-make the coffee so it is ready when we rise. 
 This fall, I've allowed myself to stay a little longer. With Jesus. Wherever my heart and mind go. Lingering with my coffee in hand and my pen to the paper. 

I have never looked forward to getting up in the morning, but this fall has changed that. My mornings have been an incredibly sacred time and I don't want to miss a minute of it. I go to bed looking forward to getting up. Not kidding. It's a work of God and God alone. 

This fall, I feel like my heart is in the exact place it needs to be. A place still fragile and exposed, knowing there are days to come that will be hard, where I will be reminded of loss. A place where I feel safe and close to the Lord as we continue to grieve the dreams we had of a sweet little one that, in a month, would have been born. My heart is in a place where it desperately needs to wake up in the morning. It desperately needs to find hope in Jesus because hope in anything else can't get me through this one.
 I've tried. 

The beauty in this fall season inspires me to pray. To thank Him for who He is. To thank Him for how He has held me this whole time. Perhaps it is a sweet taste of how He is holding our sunshine baby. A minuscule taste for me of how Elston feels as He is with his Heavenly Father. A little connection to our sweet baby boy. This fall reminds me that even though the leaves will turn and slowly cascade to the earth, and things will come to an end, there is life. Life in knowing Jesus. Abundant life. 

My heart prays and asks the Lord for next fall. That there would be a sweet little life we can hold in our arms. To care for and teach. To raise up and let fly. He says in His Word to ask. So I do. Trusting in Him. In His timing. In His plan for us, for our family. 

Sweet fall, continue to speak sweetly to me, for I bask in your beauty. 


3 comments :

  1. Absolutely love everything about that photo. That's one of the saddest parts about not having Instagram on my Windows phone--not seeing your beautiful art!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do they not have instagram on those phones?! That should be a crime!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love the artwork on this one, makes me think of the swag bags from Influence!

    ReplyDelete