Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Mary Ellen Chronicles.

So, my mom is unlike anyone you'll ever meet. She's sassy, cares for people well, and speaks her mind.   I admire her for her confidence and fearlessness. I especially love the fact that half the time, she is hilarious without even knowing she is. Because of this, and the countless stories she tells me about her life, I thought it was time I started documenting, because people need to hear this stuff. Plus, my parents don't have internet, so it's really unlikely that she will ever read this. Well, knowing me, I'll call her and read it to her, so who am I kidding? Alllll this to say, I have a story. 

Let me set the scene. Here's my cute lil mama.
Peace. Love. Happiness. 

The thing everyone knows about Mama G is that she has this northern accent with a little Fran Drescher attached to it. {But waaaaaaaay less annoying than Fran} I feel like this is important to know as I am describing this story via a phone call. 

So, my mom calls me up at 9:30 last night. {A Friday night} I found it to be an odd time to call and whenever she calls at weird times I think something terrible has happened. So, I picked up and asked if everything was alright. Everything was fine. She was just calling me to tell me the latest Beach Park {the town I'm from} gossip. How she knows what's going on there six hours away with no internet is beyond me. But, alas, she finds stuff out way before I do. So, she updates me with all that and starts to tell me her clever idea from the day before. 

She said "Oh Chris, the damn dogs {their dog & the neighbors two dogs} have been waking me up in the middle of the night for the past two nights howling and howling and howling. I was so fed up with it and just wanted sleep. So I got up....found one of your father's firecrackers, went outside, lit the firecracker, and threw it in the yard. And when that thing went off, those dogs went running to the neighbor's house and howled there for the rest of the night instead of right outside my window." 

I died. Imagine this woman lighting a firecracker at 2am in her sweats. If anyone is redneck between my dad and her, she gets the award. Hands down. And she doesn't even try. 

Mom, I adore you. And if you ever do get internet and read this, be reminded of how much I love you and the woman God has made you. Never stop being hilarious. Keep that fearlessness and keep loving big. You're a good mama and you have my heart. xo

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